Samuel's World

Family Tip of the month in Samuel's World - November and December

In the past few years I have tried many ideas, hints, tips – anything that might soothe and calm a situation or moment. Each month there will be a “Tip of the Month”, an idea that has worked for our family which might work for yours. If you have any ideas or tips that have worked for you in certain situations please email them to me in the comment section and I will post them for all to see.

Christmas is a time for giving and receiving, hopefully this website will achieve both!

December’s Tip – Smiley Faces

We have found this idea extremely useful and it can be adapted to suit your child’s needs. I have tried out all the different reward sticker charts but after a while they become tattered and torn and quite often get ripped off the door in a state of despair from Sam! Therefore with this in mind we have adapted our rewards incentive system to suit both children so that they feel equal and are not having to compete against each other.

What to buy – your ingredients

You will need – a clear plastic jar, like a tea or coffee jar – I got ours from Wilkinsons in Horsham for 99p each and soaked off the label marked Tea and Coffee and made up a label which reads Samuel and stuck it on the front. Also you will need a packet of fridge magnets ( make sure you get at least 20 and they have to be all the same), we managed to find round yellow ones with smiles on them.

Now we did start slowly with this idea about 6 months ago and worked our way up – normal everyday tasks that Samuel had to do like brush his teeth, go to the toilet, get dressed always seems to be stressful and annoying often leading to rage and aggression.

If Samuel did these tasks with our help and did not get angry or hit us he would be given a smiley magnet to put in his jar. At the end of the day we would count up his magnets and he would get 1p for every magnet – you could use other treats, sweets, marbles (anything small – but do think about the high sugar content if you choose sweets as it might make things worse!)

Progression

As I said before this jar idea can be adapted to suit you and your family – we have progressed a lot further on this now – Samuel will now get a smiley face if he does not hit us or his sister each day. At the end of the week on a Sunday we count up all his faces – if he gets all 7 he gets £1 and a small toy from Hawkins Bazaar in Horsham (great shop for small bargain toys), if he does not acheive 7 then he gets less money and no toy. Our jar idea is the best one so far for Samuel as he never comes away with nothing in a day or a week and always achieves something however small. At this moment in time this is as much as Samuel can manage – if we were to say at the end of the day you have not earned any reward this would be too much to bear and would lead to sheer anxiety and confusion.

Obsessions

One of Samuel’s obsessions is money and he does look forward to maybe getting a whole £1 or maybe even that extra small toy which he can choose out of the bag if he gets a full house! Has this happened I hear you ask!!! Since starting the week method in Oct he has achieved it 3 times which for Samuel is a large improvement.

Other siblings can join in too!

Yes Grace has a jar as well and she too has the same rules except obviously she does not have meltdowns or hits, but she can be 8 going on 15 some of the time and can say the wrong thing to Samuel which will set him off! As a family we are constantly trying to understand Samuel and for a 8 year old this is hard…

Happy Christmas!!

Well I wish you all a very happy Christmas and a happy New Year – try not to get too stressed and take each day as it comes and above all chill – you deserve it!!!!

November’s Tip!

I was reading an article in www.specialfamilies.org/ about sibling arguments and when as a parent you constantly feel you are always saying “NO” all the time and how the parent has used a red, amber , green rule of thumb method deciding when to intervene and I suddenly remembered my Christmas Tree idea!

Red, Amber Green!

I used this idea of mine when Samuel had just been diagnosed and he was having to adjust to his disorders – many angry moments occured which sometimes left Samuel lost for words. To prevent him from hitting his sister, or us, we gave him 3 Christmas Trees. The next time Samuel was annoyed and angry over a simple disagreement with his sister he would come and show me a red tree which meant “I am very angry and upset”

Oranges and Lemons and ?

At this point Samuel would normally be so angry he could not control himself – to distract him from the problem I would shout out a name of a fruit and he would have to think of another fruit. This would continue as long as Samuel felt he needed to until he was ready to show me a amber tree which meant “I am getting calmer now”. To finally show a green tree meant “I am better now and I need a cuddle” I would then find that I could talk to Samuel easier and find out what was bothering him and that Samuel would be calmer and could listen.

Now let’s get making!

And this is when the artist in you comes out! – Draw a Christmas Tree Template – big enough for your child to be able to hold in their hand – you will need 3 pieces of coloured card (red, amber and green), using the template draw round and cut out so that you are left with 3 Christmas Trees – you should now have 1 of each of the representing colours. Laminate if you can as this will help them last longer and will evade grubby fingers!!

Give it a go!!

Good luck with this idea and I hope it works as well as it did for us – as an alternative try laminating diffferent objects – snowmen, reindeer (for the more adventurous and skilled artist!).

images by www.freefoto.com
Clip art licensed from the Clip Art Gallery (www.discoveryschool.com)

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